Designs on inspired brands from Sekforde.

In a land far away, I would run as fast as an Indian tracker through the summer woods, marbles ticking in my pocket and catapult ready for the alderbrook tribe who ruled beyond the stream.

A threepenny bit would deliver more sherbert dips than was healthy and the big weekly event was the cap wearing postie delivering my copy of the Eagle, neatly rolled in brown paper and sent by Nan. In those pages, between the strip cartoons and exploded diagrams of jet liners were the junk ads featuring muscle bound sand kickers and mischievous hand shake buzzers. I recall staring in wonder at the huge sea monsters that could be mine to grow from a packet of eggs... all I had to do was send a postal order. But my Mum said no, no, no and my pocket money was saved for another airfix kit.

Years later, the irony of Mum giving my son a starter kit of those self same sea monsters for Christmas did not escape me, but interestingly whilst young Rob gazed in awe at illustrations of the prehistoric monsters that would soon be swimming in his bedroom, I saw the con. Dried shrimp eggs, some fish food and plastic bowl, packaged to deliver a staggering mark-up. A perfect scam that has been running for years.

Back in the day a friend bragged that he'd got a tank of the sea monsters I so coveted, yet peering into his pickle jar of swimming beasts it was apparent these were no monsters and I strolled home for tea happy to know Mum had been right. It was probably my wise old Nan who rolled out the saying "If it looks too good to be true then it probably is", and so I joined the life march towards scepticism.

So why is it that so many marketeers treat their public as fools? Does anyone really believe you can always fly for the price the cheap airlines advertise, or that the pizza deal on TV will really feed your family for a fiver? Of course not. We all know that the extras like credit card charges or expensive soft drinks and extra toppings will rebalance the deal.

So why not be honest and just advertise the real price? Ryan Air say you can fly for 50p. BA truthfully say you can fly for £149. Who's website are you going to visit?

You know Ryan Air are going to get you somehow, but incredibly somewhere deep down the optimist within says that this time, for the first time, you'll win, and perhaps once in a while you will.

But BA and the rest of the honest injuns won't. Ever. Which is a shame.